“Conscious Uncoupling?”

This is the term being used by Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin as a judge finalized their divorce.  This began in March 2014 when they announced they were separating and undergoing a process they called “conscious uncoupling”.  This ‘process’ was apparently defined by a Los Angeles-based therapist and author by the name of Katherine Woodward Thomas.  Obviously, she has a book you can purchase on the subject.

This is, it seems, a more civilized approach to ending a legal relationship while not feeling as if you’re ‘divorcing’ yourself from your former partner.  I don’t quite see the difference that it makes to use a less abrupt term than “divorce” to accomplish the same end goal. But then again, I am anything but avant-garde to those who know me personally.  Never have been and very likely never will be.

Maybe this is all intended to make the two children conceived by this couple, ages 10 and 12, feel better about themselves and their circumstances.  More likely, it is all about the two adults who weren’t very adult.

This is all about values, or more directly about the loss of values that used to be held near and dear.  By renaming something, we can apparently change the feelings associated with the action we’ve chosen to call something other than what it is.  Some of us wonder where we are destined to end up as a civilization if we continue down the slippery slopes we seem to enjoy.  But obviously there are people concerned about this, hence the renaming of those things we’d like not to have to think about.

The issues with this kind of thing aren’t that the ‘rich and famous’ have their own jargon, but it is more about the long-term implications of the degradation of things held near and dear for ions.  As the justification to act similarly seems made, there will be more and ‘conscious uncouplings’ and soon we’ll have nearly forgotten about divorces.  Maybe then there will finally be earthly forgiveness for the opposite activity, that of “unconscious couplings” that we seem to be seeing is more and more appealing to the masses.

We toy with the sanctity of marriage, invent new terms to describe it and then lament the resulting havoc that it raises with our civilization in general.  We are very slow to learn and all too quick to make excuses that permit us to forget even more quickly.  What a wonderful new direction for our society.

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